A couple of months ago I was invited to RAW Artists. I didn't have to apply, sign my life away, they contacted and invited me. Kind of a big deal for a little photographer like me... But I didn't do it. A lot of people who pay attention to my work know that I do a lot of work in mental health awareness, and that's because I've had my own battles with depression and bipolar disorder. The offer from RAW threw me into a panic, I couldn't decide what work to show, what to print, etc... In turn this turned into depression. My big excuse became "It's just not the right time for me to do this."... And it turns out I was right.
Three weeks ago I suffered a heart attack and was hospitalized. Turns out I have a heart defect that squeezes my heart in some weird way (Don't ask, they're still mapping it out). While I sat in the hospital I realized this could have happened at any time, what if it had happened at some event in some far off city? What then?
Basically I've spent the last three weeks of my life having an existential crisis, living in fear of stressing my heart... And let me tell you, creating art of any kind is almost impossible under that kind of stress. But lately I've realized that I can't live in fear... I'm alive, I just have to follow the rules a little better, and keep going.
I'm back, I'm ready to keep creating, and I hope every single person that reads this silly little blog will stick around for the ride!